I love my babies. Daphne Doodle, Cash Dog and Baby Parker. I love my husband, Honey. I love them each differently and deeply. Although since becoming a mommy I've noticed that in public it's most "appropriate" to talk about your love for your baby. (People don't want to hear your undying love for your husband and well, I get it, some folks think it's weird how much I love my dogs. I'll save that for another day.)
So I must have been sharing this new found mommy love I have for Baby Parker and on more than on occasion I've heard people say to me something to the effect of, yes you love them now but you really love them when they're sleeping.
Huh? When they're... sleeping? Because that's somehow... different?
This bothers me. Am I normal? (Also a topic for another day, but I digress.)
Parker sleeps 12 hours every night (9pm - 9 am) and takes two hour-and-a-half naps every day. His sleep is very important for his growth and development and I am sure is largely to thank for his happy demeanor.
His sleep is also very important for mommy. This is the time that I open the mail, fold laundry, prepare dinner, answer emails, run the vacuum, blog, you get it. You are or you know a mommy or two and you know that this time is important.So I take full advantage of his nap time to get things done.
When Parker is awake I don't just want to be there, I want to be present. I want to be an active part of his playtime and his awake time. To do that I need to have my mind clear of all the other stuff, all of the business-of-being-a-mommy, so that stuff has to happen during nap time. So yes nap time is important for mommy too.
But I find that I miss him when he's asleep! *Gasp*
I find that I glance at the clock to see when he's going to be up again. I don't start anything I can't immediately walk away from as it gets closer to time to go get that precious baby up! Throughout his nap in the back of my mind, while I'm bustling about, I am thinking about him and looking forward to when he will be awake again.
But I certainly do not in any way love him more when he's asleep.
I love him awake, I love him asleep. I cherish the time he is awake, I busy myself with to-do's while he is asleep.
Love him more when he's sleeping? A sediment I do not understand.
Am I normal? I don't care. Parker's awake time during the day is my favorite time. Those are the moments that our life is made of.
You are so not alone! As NUTS as these kids drive me...and I count the minutes to bedtime most days, it never fails: As soon as they're in bed, within 30 minutes, I'm missing them. Kinda secretly wishing they'd wake up so we can play a little more, snuggle a little more. And then again before I go to bed, the last thing I always do is look at the pics I took that day on my iPhone. OK, maybe I am the weird one? lol
ReplyDeleteWhen I first started reading this I thought you were talking about loving them more when they are sleeping in your arms or when you are peaking in on them in their cribs as they are snoozing away at night. Those, I could totally agree with! And then I realized it was more because they are seen as a burden than a special gift from God. While I can completely understand a Mama's time to re-energize during nap times, I have to agree with Tammy. I miss my babies when they are sleeping and get excited when they wake up because I know it's time to have fun together again.
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