Why Does This Happen To Me?

I'm back from New York… we ate, drank and shopped to our hearts content!! Well I didn’t drink of course except for *a lot of water* and used *every restroom* on Manhattan Island…

But while I’m recovering from the trip I thought I’d share a tidbit of my small town life and the *excitement* I experienced running a few errands last week…

First up, Kohl’s. I was returning some picture frames I decided we don’t need for our gallery wall. I walked in and asked where the returns counter was:

Associate: In the back

Me: Thanks. [Start walking to the back wall] This way right?

Associate: No. In the back… that way. [Points to the right side of the store]

Me: Oh that back. [I did not tell her that was not the back]

So I get to the returns counter which is located on the *side* of the store in case anyone else needs to make a return at my local Kohl’s store.  I get in line behind a lady who had a used Keurig in a plastic grocery bag with no box, no receipt and didn’t have the credit card she purchased it on. Great, right?

The return associate had to call someone from house wares to help and then we all wait there. Since we’re all clearly just waiting, I wondered why she wasn’t helping me, soooo I asked if she would mind helping me while we waited.

Associate: [Stares at me. Clearly not used to making such big decisions]

Me: I have my receipt and packaging and everything. I think it will be quick.

Associate: [Blinks.] Ummm, well ok then.

Well ok then. Great, let’s get this done. We complete the return, I thank her and start on my way out. House wares has yet to show up. Clearly she made the right decision since we had plenty of time.

Next I go to Pier One. I needed to purchase some woven baskets to help organize our closet. At the counter the associate asked me if I wanted to apply for their credit card. As usual I politely declined. She proceeded to spend the rest of the checkout time telling me about all the benefits of a card I can *only* use at Pier One. (How often does she think I shop there? I’ve been twice in ten months.) But she wasn’t just talking to me about the benefits, no she was YELLING them to me. Why, I have no idea! I couldn’t get out quick enough!

Next I go to Kroger, our grocery store. I had bought something that had ripped packaging and was there to return it. In front of me was someone doing a wire transfer for two-thousand-something-dollars. Clearly bailing someone out of jail, right?. Except they couldn’t count. So they had to recount and argue with the associate about the money. After realizing that I’ve been waiting for eternity the associate calls someone to help me. That someone is on break. She asked three of her co workers where Becky was. No one had seen Becky. After the money was counted for the 100 th time I was finally able to return my ripped package. Not worth the two bucks I got back.

Finally I’m on my way to my last stop. Home Depot. I needed to return a shelf I bought for our closet that was too short. This should be easy right?Well, not when you’re behind someone who is returning a used lawn mower that they claim broke and they don’t have the receipt. What is with these people not saving their receipts for major purchases? It went a little something like this:

Wife: Well we bought this and it’s broke but my husband needs to tell you about it and he went to get somethin’

Associate: [Looks at her]

Wife: [Looks around for her husband] Oh here he comes, GET OVER HERE [yells at him]

Husband: Yea, we need to return this because it broke … [Proceeds to tell the associate all about the crank shaft and the gizmo that goes in the whatchamacallit]

Associate: [Interrupts] Sir do you have your receipt?

Husband: No. [Looks at wife] When did we buy this?

Wife: Well it was after March 24 th, I know that.

Husband: It was on a Sunday

*Note: no one has asked them *when* they bought it. They are completely offering this up on their own.

Wife: All I know is it was after March 24 th. It was like 3 weeks ago.

Associate: [Interrupts. Again.] Do you have credit card you used to purchase the item? I can use that to look up your receipt.

Husband: [Holds up a credit card and looks at associate] This one?

Associate: Sir I don’t know if that’s the card you used.

Husband: It was this one.

About that time a lady at customer service calls out that she can help the next person with their return. I was so happy to get away from these people that I practically skipped over to her! I thanked her for rescuing me and told her that they were going to be a while on that one. She agreed.

After that I went home. And I didn’t talk to another soul the rest of the day.

And that's the kind of small-town excitement I occasionally experience...